I’m just going to say that God blessed me with an amazing woman as a mother in law. I would not be where I am right now without her. Mom, if you see this, I love you.
I know I joke that living with my mother in law sucked but in reality it never really sucked. It was inconvenient sometimes because of the cultural barriers, sure, but it was also pretty awesome. We would go on long car rides and not have to drive. I rarely had to cook and when I did I loved cooking for 4 people. We didn’t have to pay rent. That was one of the best parts. It is so expensive where we live and it was really nice to just save that money that I earned. Of course, I also really enjoyed spending time with my new family as well.
Sometimes the cultural differences made it a little difficult. My mother-in-law had some unspoken expectations an so did I. We were just used to different lifestyles. Ill write more about the cultural differences in a different article. Jaxon and I are keeping some of both cultures in our new little family.
There were some things that did make it tough not having our own place. We only had one space that was ours alone. Our room wasn’t too big and we had to fit everything we jointly owned into that little space. We were very cramped which made me feel overwhelmed at times. I was always trying to find ways to make the space feel bigger. The fridge was a big reason we wanted our to find our own apartment. Jay eats anything but I was vegetarian for a while so I had to have foods that fit my diet. There was rarely enough space in the fridge for what I wanted. Privacy was also a big factor. When I get off of work all I want to do is put on things that are more comfortable. As you ladies know, bras do not qualify as comfortable. Living with other people like your mother in law and your brother in law limit your options for what you can wear. There is also that obvious reason why living in a small apartment with the in-laws across the hall isn’t ideal for newly-weds but I won’t talk about that very much because my Dad reads this. Let’s just say that we were very tense people until we moved out and leave it at that.
At the end of the day, living with my mother in law was challenging at times but it was helpful to save money and get to know them better.
This story isn’t very long but it is not how I imagined it would go. It was 5 0’clock on a weekday morning, standing in last nights clothes while Jaxon vomited violently in the background. Lets take it back to 12 hours before.
I just got off of work and was eager to get home and get ready. My boss had invited me to her birthday party and I had never been to a party with alcohol before. I was legitimately excited to be someones designated driver. This was my second date with my husband so I was feeling pretty excited to see him again outside of work. I picked him up from work at 8 and headed straight to Sacramento as we blared the Hamilton soundtrack and songs we liked in high school. We had liked post hardcore back in high school. I’ve moved on from that music but that is still Jays favorite genre.
As soon as we got into the party we knew that people had already had way too much to drink. We grabbed some snacks and Jay grabbed a beer and started to socialize. I just followed him around because I am not really great at parties. We came to the beer pong table because that seemed to be the happening spot. Apparently the game had just finished and everyone wanted Jay to step in and play. Now, my dear husband is a smaller Asian man so alcohol goes straight to his head and he isn’t very good at beer pong. You can probably imagine the state he was in after he lost every round. I knew that it was a matter of time before he would start throwing up so I told the birthday person that we probably had to leave soon. I had lost Jaxon while I was looking for my boss and when I found him He was taking shots. Apparently, they were pressuring him to drink more. I was his designated driver so I asked the party host for a water bottle, paper towels, and grocery bags because I knew that I was going to need them in the car. After struggling with convincing Jay to leave, getting someone to help carry him to the car, and trying to get Jays home address we finally left at midnight.
I knew I couldn’t take him home like that because his mom would probably be mad. I drove to the area he lived and parked at Mel’s diner. I rubbed his back while he threw up. He wouldn’t stop throwing up and he looked like he really just needed a nap. It didn’t help that while he had stopped puking I threw away the grocery bag and apparently he wasn’t done so he was puking out of the door. People were starting to stare so I told him to hold it in so we could drive to his house. We almost made it to his house before he puked out of the window of a moving car. We pulled up to his apartment complex at probably 3am. The apartment was decorated in very warm tones and smelled really nice. I put him on the couch but he just got right back up to puke in the kitchen sink. He would go back and forth from the sink and the couch for a while until he fell asleep. I just sat next to him rubbing his back and running my hand through his hair. I was thinking he had really soft hair as I dozed off to sleep.
I heard a noise behind me that startled me awake. The kitchen light was on and noise was coming from the fridge. I was thinking “oh crap, I’m about to meet this guy’s mom in her living room after spending the night. What is she going to think?!” Apparently Jay woke up too because he ran back into the kitchen which obviously scared his mom. She saw Jay throwing up and a stranger standing concerned in her living room at 5 am. She was really pretty and looked like she could have been his sister. I introduced myself and apologized that I was in her home uninvited but I wanted to make sure that Jay was safe. She started to laugh! She told me that Jay had only been like this one other time and he smelled like a potato farmer for days. She told him to drink more water and asked what he was drunk on this time. I told her that it was beer and Hennessy which made her laugh more. She told me that last time it was tequila and vodka so at least he wont smell bad this time. She thanked me for making sure that Jay was safe and apologized that she had to run out the door. I guess we made her late but at least she was chuckling as she was closing the door. That was the first and last time Jay had Hennessy.
So there you have it. I hope that you all have a better story! Remember that if I could meet my mother-in-law wearing last night’s party clothes, smelling like vomit, in her living room at 5 o’clock and she still wanted me as a daughter you will be fine! Just breathe and remember that she just wants what is best for her kid.
Thanks for reading! If you liked this story make sure to click like and I’ll put more stories out. I’m in the middle of writing part one of living with my mother in law. I will post it this week.