marriage

How Do You Know if They are “The One”?

I get this question a lot. “How did you know that he was the one you wanted to marry?” I used to think that anybody could be the one if you try hard and love them enough. Of course, I met Jaxon and that opinion changed. I knew it in the deepest part of me that this was the man God was giving me to be my husband. The air was lighter when he walked in the room. I felt invincible with him by my side. Iv’e been dating my husband for 3 years and I still get butterflies when he looks at me. My heart still grows wings when he comes home from work. He is my best friend. Everyone is telling me that that feeling will fade. Maybe it will! I’m just going to enjoy my butterflies and my wings until it does. Here is my guideline to know if they are the one.

They make you happy. Like truly happy. Your soul feels lighter and you know that you will never have to worry about love or acceptance again.

They make you want to be better. Whatever that means to you. Jay makes me want to be better at my job. He makes me want to clean the house. He deserves to be happy and if that makes him happy I’d love to do whatever it takes. I feel like he deserves my best.

You would genuinely do anything for them and they would do the same. I would do probably anything to make my husband happy. I probably wouldn’t kill anybody which is totally fine because that probably wouldn’t increase his happiness. I know that Jay would do the same. Of course, it doesn’t have to be that extreme either. I’m really bad at drinking water. Jay knows this so he is always putting a glass of water next to me whether I ask for it or not. When I do ask for one he jumps up to get it even if we just got cozy for bed.

You feel like you can tell them anything and everything. My husband is my most trusted confidant. I could tell him anything. Anywhere from what color my pee was this morning to telling my scariest fears. He knows he can tell me everything too. We rarely argue but we had an argument last week. We knew that no matter what we said we would be forgiven.

They never put you down. In private or in front of your friends. This is a big one. I had problems with this with a previous boyfriend. You should keep relationship problems to yourself so you can work on them privately. Of course this doesn’t include abuse because you should tell anyone that will listen if you spouse or partner is abusing you. If you go out with your friends together and he tells them about all of the areas that you are falling short as a partner it is not helpful to your relationship. They should be making you look great! They should brag about how clean the apartment was or how well you are doing at work.

In the end, If you and your partner are ready to make that step I say go for it. If you are in love and are prepared to stick with each other why not? Age really is just a number. I knew that I was going to marry my husband before 4 months of dating him. We’ve been together for almost 3 years and I love him more and more each day.

marriage

10 Affordable Valentines Day Date Ideas

1. Build a Fort

This is what my husband and I did for our first valentines day together. We squished all of his moms couches together and covered it all in a king size fitted sheet. I had made chocolate covered fruit as a surprise earlier that day which was a super sweet snack while watching a romantic movie under the fort.

2. Make a meal together

Making a meal together can be really fun. It also strengthens your patience with each other. Make something easy like mac and cheese, spaghetti, or a fancy salad. You could skip the main course and just make desert too! We made muffins last year! There are kits to make brownies or cake which make it pretty simple and quick to add something sweet to your date.

3. Order in and binge your favorite show

There is nowhere like home after all. Just order in delivery from your favorite restaurant. Grubhub/postmates are apps that lets you order food from places you wouldn’t normally be able to get food delivered from. You don’t have to stick with just chinese food or pizza! Although those are both great options. Cuddle up together and pop on an easy TV show. Me and my husbands favorite shows to binge are The Office (netflix) or Superstore (hulu).

4. Go to a museum and scavenger hunt

I love this idea. This is probably what we will do this year. It’s just so easy! This idea is awesome for those competitive couples. Me and my husband like to make things interesting and have a friendly competition sometimes. Just find the closest or most interesting museum near you and design a scavenger hunt accordingly. If you are going to an art museum your scavenger hunt can have “find 3 paintings with over 6 people in it” or “find the weirdest sculpture. whoever has the weirdest sculpture wins” or even “take a picture with a tour guide”. Whoever has the most points at the end of the date gets to pick the movie to watch later.

5. Explore your city with fresh eyes

This is a fun one. Depending on the city you live, it might be warm enough outside to take a walk. If it is, head to a part of the city or nearby city that you have never been. Old parts of cities are really interesting. Go to that restaurant that you saw go up like 3 years ago that you thought looked interesting enough to try. If you live in a big city take a walking tour of tourist attractions you wouldn’t be caught dead at. If anybody asks, you are visiting.

6. Picnic in the park

This idea also depends on your area. Me and my husband did this last year. We went to the grocery store and bought cheap lunch stuff and had a nice little picnic in the park. Jaxon brought his soccer ball so we kicked the ball around for a while. Just keep your phone in your purse or in the car. Stay unplugged and you might learn something about your spouse you didn’t know before! If you live somewhere too cold to go outside you can combine this idea and my first idea. Have a picnic in your living room!

7. At Home Spa Day

A friend gave me this idea. This one takes a bit more planning but could be very romantic and relaxing. Amazon has nice face masks you can buy pretty cheap. Get some of those and a bottle of sparkling apple cider. Get into really fluffy robes and relax with some music. Showers or baths can also be a romantic part of your spa day. If you decide to do the bath route, get a bath bomb from lush and pop that in there after the tub fills up. Apparently they also have shower bombs if the bath isn’t for you. You put it by the drain and the heat makes the smells rise up in the shower. Finish off the day with a healthy dinner and maybe a board game.

8. Build a snowman/snow fort

This idea is obviously pretty specific to people in colder areas. Bundle up and go outside! Build lots of snowmen, then build forts to protect your snow people. After the war is over, make some snow angels or find the most interesting icicle. Once all of the fun is had and your fingers are cold, head inside and warm up with hot chocolate and snuggles. Watch a romantic movie or look back at your wedding pictures.

9. Visit animal shelters

This one is close to my heart. I believe that all things deserve love and kindness shown to them. Homeless pets need love on valentines day too. Head over to the closest shelter and pet all of those animals for me! Make sure that you leave no animal untouched! If you happen to fall in love with one and take it home don’t blame me!

10. Give to the Community

Most children’s hospitals collect valentines for the kids who can’t be at school to give or receive them themselves. It makes their day to see that random strangers are thinking of them! It makes my day knowing that I made a kid’s day a little bit brighter! Volunteer at a homeless shelter together and show those people love too. Donate extra unwanted clothes to goodwill or food to a food bank. Giving is a good way to make your heart feel lighter.

marriage

5 Reasons Why Getting Married Young is Great!

As I said before, I got married at 19 to the love of my life. It was by far the best decision I’ve ever made. There are obviously ups and downs to getting married so young but in the article I’m only going to focus on the ups! Of course I’m going to preface this article by saying that obviously getting married young is not for everyone and if you or your significant other are considering this path I suggest you really think about the decision. Love is a choice. You choose to love your spouse through the easy and the hard days. so with out further ado, here are the top 5 reasons getting married young was a no brainer for me.

1. It’s (relatively) easy to combine lives

It takes a while to set up your life financially. Buying a car, house, have kids, etc. takes time and money that young people don’t normally have. I know that when I got married I had a part time job, lived with my parents, and was borrowing the car when I needed it. My husband had just moved her from the Philippines a little over a year ago and lived with his mom, same part time job as me, and had no car. It was very easy to combine our lives financially. We also hadn’t really set in our ways in regard to our day to day routines. When we lived together we had no trouble learning the ways to work together and not stomp on each-other’s toes.

2. It’s exciting!

I’m not going to lie…. the thought of being married so young was a very attractive idea. I mean… I always dreamed of getting married and starting my life with my husband and I got to start 10 years ahead of most! I got to have the dress, the wedding, and the second family right out of highschool. While everyone was getting sending out college applications I was sending out wedding invitations. While all the college students were gossiping about their crushes I was calling the florist and the table rental agency. I felt so far ahead of my classmates which was a nice feeling after feeling so left behind in highschool. it is such a rush! The flowers, the dress, the romance!

3. You have so much more time with your spouse

The national average age people get married is 27 and rising. We will be celebrating our 10 year anniversary when our acquaintances are celebrating their 2nd. That is so much time! We can easily be married at least 50 years before one of us passes away (fingers crossed). Honestly though, eternity wouldn’t even be enough time to spend with my husband.

4. You can take on challenges as a team

Life is challenging. Duh. When you are married though, you never have to face a challenge alone. They will support and love you through everything. Hard day at work? Your spouse is there waiting to hear all about the idiots that caused you an inconvenience. My husband is my most reliable source of support. When we first got married we had to tackle the huge problem of immigration but together we got all of the paperwork completed and he now has a green card. Problems just don’t seem as tough when you have someone beside you.

5. Your relationship takes on a whole new identity

I know, I know…. “Alexis, you were only dating for 8 months! That’s nothing!” Yes. Yes it is. I barely dated my husband. We were already planning our wedding at the 5 month mark. I do, however, remember it very clearly. The dates and the excitement to see each other next. Texting every chance we could. Late night Facetime calls. It was exciting! Constantly trying to make every moment count. When you are married that sort of thing kind of goes away but its replaced with a calm, laid back feeling. You are not always trying to impress them. I mean… they have seen you after a binge on taco bell. Hard to imress or mystify your husband after that. You really get to be yourself in your home. You never worry about a fight because you trust that they won’t break up with you. After all, you made a promise to get through those fights. The big conversations are not that hard to have when you are bundled up next to your cat in you own home. Its a deeper kind of love when you make that huge commitment.