My last post was all about how getting married young was the best decision I’ve ever made. There are obviously ups and downs to getting married so young but in the article I’m only going to focus on the down sides. These are hard to hear but they are important to keep in mind if you are thinking about getting hitched so young. Here are 5 not so pretty truths about being married at 19.
1. You get a lot of criticism
I faced a lot of push back when I announced that I was getting married. People asked if I was sure that I wasn’t making a mistake. People that I thought were my friends refused to come to my wedding because “they’d come to my next one” It really hurt to hear everyone’s mean comments on a decision that I was very confident in. I would have people come up to me at work and tell me that I screwed up my life, that i never even had a chance to live. “You are just a baby! Don’t get married! You have so much that you are going to miss out on!” I’m going to be honest, I wavered. It got to me so bad that I would hide my hands at work. I would tell people that I was single. Total strangers made me uncomfortable to be married to my husband. People told me that my husband was only with me for his green card and that he would leave me as soon as he got what he wanted. They say that the first year of marriage is the hardest but honestly it was people like that that made it hard. Being married to Jaxon is effortless. I was lucky that my family fully supported us but most young couples don’t have that. Keep that in mind.
2. People don’t take your marriage seriously
Going to restaurants and saying its your 1 year wedding anniversary is definitely awkward. They absolutely don’t believe you. Hotels too. I received a wonderful comment a while back saying “oh that’s still happening?” Yes, Karen, it will be happening for a while. Please automatically assume that he goes where I go.
3. Bachelor/bachelorette parties are definitely boring with out alcohol
My bachelorette party was very boring. We went to lunch and then watched a movie. Nothing to write home about. Jaxon didn’t even have a party. Our wedding had alcohol but we could only have a glass of champagne as a toast because people wouldn’t let me have any. Definitely a minor drawback but if it matters to you to have a bomb bachelorette then you should keep this in mind.
4. You start off a marriage on a not so strong financial footing
When we got married we were broke as heck. It’s pretty hard to give romantic surprises when all of your money goes to gas. It’s especially hard to bankroll an entire wedding on a couple $300 paychecks. Unless you are the lucky few whose parents thought ahead and are willing to pay for your wedding, you definitely aren’t getting a princess ballroom event. I managed to pay under $800 for an entire wedding including the dress and the rental furniture. There will be a post in the future about how I did that. We had to live with Jaxon’s mom for the first year of our marriage. I’m not going to say it was easy. It definitely wasn’t. You can’t really have arguments so it gets bottled up and its pretty difficult to find alone time to do other activities married couples do as well. I am blessed with an amazing family-in-law though and we definitely couldn’t have done it without their support and help.
5. Nearly impossible to be independent
Like I said previously, we had to live with my mother in law for over a year. She helped us in a lot of other ways too. She bought our rings, she payed for immigration papers, and so much more. We just couldn’t afford to do anything except pay for gas, insurance and food. We saved whatever was left. We only had one car so we had to plan our work schedule which was tough. We had to rely on our parents for a lot for a long time.